Saturday, October 19, 2013

Structured Insanity

 I have come to a realization that as a newly single woman, any success I attain will be solely my own. As a married woman, society affords you a certain amount of success for the success of your spouse, i.e. you stood by them, supported them… all things you would do in a partnership. But with just me, either I do it or I don’t.   I realized that  I have a lot on my plate right now, for better or worse, but I love to take on more. I have decided on a new venture that I feel will bring my closer to many of my goals and I am very excited. I understand that I need to be careful because I love to have a project and a plan, however, too often I get overwhelmed and end up dropping a ball or two I believe this is from a lack of structure.   I realize to some extent I need to be more selective in the projects I take on, but a will gain greater strength by learning to prioritize and set clearer schedules for myself.  I already know that I work well with a rigid schedule but rarely do I implement one.  I believe that if I set myself up with a plan and a structured schedule, I can accomplish everything I am working toward.  It is best to plan your spending around your income, not spend and hope you have enough income to cover it in the end.

This week I got the Capital for my $100.00 challenge and set out finding the needed ingredients. It gave me a renewed enthusiasm for the project.

Friday, October 11, 2013

No Rest for the Guilty

I have been thinking a lot this week about our freedom to choose.  We are free to choose anything we want. Some choices are better than others, but essentially we all do the best we can.  For example, I had chosen to save some homework for Saturday night (now), a decision I am now regretting. Though it was not a bad decision, it is not one that is optimal. I am getting my work done and on time, but I am sad about it. I would rather be relaxing. I work really hard all week and want one night to relax, and I am not giving myself that because I didn’t do this during the week.  Wrong choice—not bad choice, but still wrong. We make many of these decisions everyday. Some have great impact on our lives and others are minuscule, some will impact our happiness in profound ways and other we will never even recognize.  And while I believe it is important to be aware of the ramifications our choices have on our lives and that we should always be striving to make the best choices possible, I don’t find any good comes from berating ourselves, shrouding ourselves in guilt and regret.  This often leads to greater mistakes and wallowing in pity, instead of saying “hmm, that was not the best decision, I don’t want to make that again” and then moving on to better choices, we sit allow-stop progression and hate ourselves for not being perfect.  Too often we become stunted by being to reflective on what we did wrong that it takes us a while to come out of the fog into the light, simply to find that there is something else we are dissatisfied about. I think this is true weather it be sin or cheating on a diet.  I think about the scripture “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven”, I see that not necessarily as a call to be perfect in all things, but as a call to an eternal perspective, to forgiveness of others and of ourselves. We are asked to bridal ourselves, our desires and our passions, not to horsewhip our desires and passions out of us.  I personally choose not to feel guilty (horsewhipped) about the decisions I make, I made them, if they are wrong, hopefully I learn to choose better next time, if they are good, I hope to recognize them in the future, but ultimately, i feel guilt will hold us back.

As stated my attention slacked off a bit this week.  I have found that getting behind is more of a mental issue than anything else.  If I allow myself to "let go" for a day, getting behind on an assignment or two, I become overwhelmed by this looming assignment, and the stress that that causes wears me out so that I continue to get behind.  Thats how I feel about the $100.00 Challenge this week.  I feel overwhelmed and behind..

Saturday, October 5, 2013

My Clock the Dictator

I think something that hit me this week is that people respond differently to things, and we cannot always control how that will be.  Thinking about stressors and responsibilities, I was thinking how I often pile things on myself, convinced I am not enough without it, just to find that I have truly taken on too much and drop things in the end.  I am currently working on this flaw.  In the past when I have thought about this, I have told myself I need to learn to say no, but what I need to learn in balance, structure, and organization.   This semester I have more on my plate than ever, however I have set up my weeks that I know exactly when I am doing homework, when I am playing with my kids, when I am working at my job and on my new business venture, and when I have time just for me.  Sometimes they overlap and other times I do none of the above.  I realized I cannot easily change who I am by nature, but I can change how I manage my life and the things in it.

images-1Looking through the lenses of this semester, I have learned that overcoming an obstacle is better than avoiding it.  Inevitably, if we simply try avoid the obstacle, we will find ourselves coming back around to it time after time. But if we overcome it, strengthen ourselves through it, we will not notice when and if we happen upon it again.  It is up to us as individuals to make who we are work for us. To take our strengths and hone them, so that we may be the most productive we can be. I  personally find that I do best with a strict structure and full schedule, it allows me to cherish my time off, not fritter it away. I know others find that kind of structure overwhelming and stifling, they thrive on a flowing continuum of life, allowing the day to usher their tasks. they may be more productive, because other things are not weighing on their mind. For me, I want to build upon what I learn, grow from my misjournies, and arrive at my destination satisfied with what I have accomplished.

I am getting very excited for the $100.00 Challenge.  I have gotten together some of the materials that I will need.  I feel that I have picked something that will fit into my life this semester.