No Rest for the Guilty

I have been thinking a lot this week about our freedom to choose.  We are free to choose anything we want. Some choices are better than others, but essentially we all do the best we can.  For example, I had chosen to save some homework for Saturday night (now), a decision I am now regretting. Though it was not a bad decision, it is not one that is optimal. I am getting my work done and on time, but I am sad about it. I would rather be relaxing. I work really hard all week and want one night to relax, and I am not giving myself that because I didn’t do this during the week.  Wrong choice—not bad choice, but still wrong. We make many of these decisions everyday. Some have great impact on our lives and others are minuscule, some will impact our happiness in profound ways and other we will never even recognize.  And while I believe it is important to be aware of the ramifications our choices have on our lives and that we should always be striving to make the best choices possible, I don’t find any good comes from berating ourselves, shrouding ourselves in guilt and regret.  This often leads to greater mistakes and wallowing in pity, instead of saying “hmm, that was not the best decision, I don’t want to make that again” and then moving on to better choices, we sit allow-stop progression and hate ourselves for not being perfect.  Too often we become stunted by being to reflective on what we did wrong that it takes us a while to come out of the fog into the light, simply to find that there is something else we are dissatisfied about. I think this is true weather it be sin or cheating on a diet.  I think about the scripture “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven”, I see that not necessarily as a call to be perfect in all things, but as a call to an eternal perspective, to forgiveness of others and of ourselves. We are asked to bridal ourselves, our desires and our passions, not to horsewhip our desires and passions out of us.  I personally choose not to feel guilty (horsewhipped) about the decisions I make, I made them, if they are wrong, hopefully I learn to choose better next time, if they are good, I hope to recognize them in the future, but ultimately, i feel guilt will hold us back.

As stated my attention slacked off a bit this week.  I have found that getting behind is more of a mental issue than anything else.  If I allow myself to "let go" for a day, getting behind on an assignment or two, I become overwhelmed by this looming assignment, and the stress that that causes wears me out so that I continue to get behind.  Thats how I feel about the $100.00 Challenge this week.  I feel overwhelmed and behind..